If you ask Joe Bloggs what he uses the net for nowadays, a common term that pops up is “research”. People use the net to learn things — not a bad idea at all! After all, the information (in most cases) is out there, just waiting to be found. And with the competitiveness of the search engines nowadays, you are nearly guarantee to find exactly what you’re looking for. But what do we “research” online?
Since Google introduce its suggestion-based search service — which pops up a list of suggestions based on the most common search phrases related to your search — it’s easy to figure out what most people are searching for. So if I want to know what most people are trying to learn about all I have to do is to type “how to” in Google and wait for the suggestions to pop up. And I did just that! And behold! here’s what our Jo Bloggs what to learn nowadays:
It appears our average internet citizen is lacking a lot of knowledge in the kissing technique department as this comes first as you can see — one would think that having some real practice rather than reading about it would solve the problem though, huh? Also our average google user seems to be spending most of his/her time in front of the PC with very little exercise probably — hence the need to lose some weight — and fast, cause damn! I need to get back to my internet searches! I’m guessing the weight was assimilated due to the pancakes they keep making — and seem to be getting wrong all the time, since they’re still looking for instructions on how do make them.
The getting pregnant bit though is a brilliant one, you got to admit — even more so in the light of “having sex” being way down the list — I’m envisaging the following scenario:
Joe Bloggs thinks “ok, I’m feeling kinda lonely here in front of my PC the whole day — maybe I should get a child. Hmmm… how do you do that? I know, let’s get pregnant — I heard that does it! “ So out comes Google: “how to get pregnant” … “Sh…ugar! I need to have sex first! Right, how do I do that? Oh, damn, I need to get fit! Right — how do I lose weight fast and get a six pack? hmmmmm not so easy it seems. Perhaps there are other ways to get laid easily … let’s see — oh yeah, having lots of money! Right, how do I make lots of money? …. hmmmm another tough one! Oh bo…cks! This is hard work — I’m knackered and hungry already. Where are my pancakes?” 🙂
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