I’ve heard the following this morning on the London Underground on the way to work. I’ve got onto a very busy Victoria line train and when it reached Victoria station there was a crowd of people on the platform — all trying to make their way in the train. One of the fellows passengers who luckily managed to get on asked the woman in front of him if she could move up a bit — and that’s when she started what seems to be an everlasting preaching about how the train was already busy and she’s got nowhere to move and it’s not her fault really as every morning during the rush hour the trains get busy and we all know that so if we want a bit more space why not wait for the train behind as it might not be so packed or even take a bus or try travelling outside the rush hour. The poor guy stood there (doors closed at this point and train on the move so there’s no hiding from the woman in front of you) and just took all of these without saying anything back. This is London Underground, right, so no one intervenes to say anything, everyone’s looking down (don’t you dare making eye contact!!!) while she’s going on and on and on and on. Finally 20 billion years later she concludes — “so next time take the bus!”; I’m quite sure she thought to herself “There, nailed him!”.
I’m not sure if everyone else was like myself waiting to see if there will be any retaliation from the poor bloke, but if they were, I can bet my bottom dollar that they didn’t see this coming!
The guy could have “attacked” her about her weight — she was a big girl after all! — and I’m sure that would have hit her as well where it hurts and shut her up, though he would have probably lost the sympathy of his fellow commuters for picking on such a thing as her being fat. Same, he could have probably picked on her chin, cankles and so on — rather nasty but would have shut her up. He could have also probably kept quiet and not say anything at all and play the “rise above the situation” game and still gain some sympathy from the other passengers. But no, he decided to be a genius about his comeback and just said to her out loud:
“Fancy having that lovely red hair and dying your roots white!”
Game – set – match! As I’m sure you’ll all agree that the hair do is a sensitive subject for women — yet it’s not a nasty comeback. The carriage went all quiet yet if you look around everyone carried a bloody big smile on their faces after that — bloody brilliant!